Friday, September 13, 2013

Oh, Lorde, it's The Neo-Kalashnikovs

Lorde and her homies the NKs out the back of the Devonport Folk Club. Not.

I was going to tell you all about the time way back when that I saw Lorde and The Neo-Kalashnikovs jam at the Devonport Folk Club, after a mean set on the spoons from Finn Andrews (later of The Veils). I think Lorde was probably about 11 or something. Except it never happened.

And then I got distracted by the internet, or more specifically the fun and games The Neo-Kalashnikovs provided over at The Corner after they got reviewed. And so here's some of the funny stuff that happened. Excerpts... read in full at The Corner.

via The NK’s Facebook:
Tall poppy syndrome much? Trust New Zealand lowlifes to start throwing knives at a young band who has done nothing but try and actually achieve something. Are you guys for real? ... The video budget was $200 the song took one take to record what the fuck do you expect???? Trust a bunch of NZ nobodies to dissect and hate on something that they don’t get cause they are to dumb, bunch of dodos! It’s called exposure I don’t care what you think of the song or the video!!!!

To judge a young self-signed band like they are supposed to be Fleetwood Mac with thousands of dollars behind them is just plain trippin. This is why all of our countries real musical success stories have been from NZ artists who have escaped this hellhole and it’s warped, conservative, snobby, judgemental, under achieving attitude that promotes the talentless and slams real achievers. And Nirvana would have done exactly what we have done cause they were smart and didn’t give a fuck....
Volita Pearl Bioletti of The Neo-Kalashnikovs

Christopher W
“The video budget was $200 the song took one take to record what the fuck do you expect????” Sounds like you’re not entirely happy with the finished product either.

“I don’t care what you think of the song or the video!!!!” Right, I’m glad we got that sorted. Now everyone can go back to what they were doing.

Nerdy Frames
"... As someone mention, they didn’t ask for a penny from the Government to fund their video and most of their vids are DIY so for continuity sake that aesthetic remains.

Funny too cause if you know them personally and you know their background then you should give them props for giving the finger to NZ on Air and their awful watermark (seriously how do you remove that shit, its like a bad stain!)....

...Here is something else. Why are you not praising a band like The Neo Ks but rather (and I hate to utter this person’s name) focusing on Lorde as she is praised as the second coming of Christ? Why…cause she is signed to a major and with that has umpteen amounts of media at her disposal including that George FM idiot Nick D wrapped around her finger?"

Moss Bioletti
Official and Final Response from The Neos:
"... We had nothing now we got something and your made haters because all we did was use our brians, and have some self-belif. As for the Corner you guys need to get flung off cliff because people who judge music that only make terrible music themselves are not the people I wan’t to be judged by. So next time The Corner don’t be a little bitch and go behind my back and publish an interview you should have had my approval of, I should have you trumped up kids on defamation charges..."

And then it ended with a death threat.

Shane Warbrooke
"Hi Dudes! Just letting you know that the Neo Kalashnikovs threatened to have the Hells Angels kill me. I have a pretty rad screenshot of it. I believe they were upset because I asked for a link to all the sweet positive reviews they keep talking about."

More reading: 7 Excellent Tips On Dealing With Bad Music Reviews (Even Though They Don't Matter)

excerpt: ".... if you feel you can't ignore reviews and need some help dealing with the bad ones, you should check out Chris Singleton's excellent post "How to deal with a bad review."

Singleton shares 7 tips on dealing with bad reviews. Here are the tips but you should go the read the post cause he goes into more detail and knows what's up.

7 Excellent Tips On Dealing With Bad Music Reviews.....

1. Keep calm and don’t write letters to the publication

2. Remember that you can’t please all of the people all of the time

3. Accept that the critic might have a point

4. Put your stinking review in context

5. Remember that even a bad review can have some benefits

6. Don’t forget the other channels of music promo

7. Prove your critic wrong


Jack said...

truly an international band, look, this UK paper wrote about them:

The Neo- Kalashnikovs said...

Hey Jack that article is probably the most positive one and if you are actually literate enough to read it you'd see they loved the song you god damn moron. The song was also added to the NZ Hit disc and NZ on Air said it was an unprecedented victory for unsigned rock musicians. So next time you want to fling dirt through it at your mother you trekky lobster of a person. Or just give us a high five its all good!!!

The Neos