An Experience In Cosmic Horissism Part 5
"A personal account of being who you are against all odds and having the courage to Walk that Line.
This little 2 week vacation in the jungle of discontent I've taken has been awesome and PHENOMENAL! When you decide to offer yourself up into the fire to be judged and abandoned for having the courage to speak your truth, it’s something you decide to do alone.
When i decided to speak out against the tyranny i felt i had the right to, i knew that it was a journey i would face alone. I am a Loud, Raucous, vivacious, and completely Outrageous artist guitar slinging mentally perturbed Maori guy and its taken 38 years of my life thus far to feel totally ok with what that mean’s and feel completely at peace with who i am. But being this way and accepting these things about oneself comes with many risks.
I come from a childhood of abandonment, I've served time inside a Drug rehabilitation centre and it’s not until you find yourself inside a mental institution on 24 hour suicide watch that you can ever feel what it truly feels like to be completely alone. At a time like that, when your in that kind of hole stripped down to your bare bone’s, the only thing that can save you from yourself is whatever you believe God to be.
For some it’s the Pope, for other’s its Krishna, for me it’s Music in the form of Jimi Hendrix and Miles Davis. Ive been blessed to be able to have the medicine of music heal everything I've had to face in life, its my drug of choice these days and like any drug if i over intoxicate myself in it i might find myself in Music Rehab! a place they send you with No stereo’s, No guitars and No posters of Jimi Hendrix and Mile Davis to worship at the feet of, and certainly No other musician or artist type people who are all slightly bent in a tirade of ways!
The one thing I've had to learn from all these experience’s is to learn how to Behave. Its so Ironic to be discriminated against for being crazy because how can i be crazy when the world is crazy and we all live happily on planet crazy together? Letting Hitler get away with what he did was ‘crazy’ Letting Mugabe continue to get away with what he’s doing is ‘crazy’ and letting this guy Kim Dot Com come here and parade himself around like he’s an example of what it means to be successful and to aspire to, for me at least is ‘crazy’. But what do i no about being crazy? Well i’ll tell ya shall I ?………………………………….ok then.
Anyone that stands out from the world of mediocrity we all live in has always considered to be ‘crazy’. Michael Jackson was not an average human being, he was special and stood out like sore thumb on this planet not long after he arrived here. And how did our planet deal with him?
They called him ‘crazy’ by ridiculing him and finally accusing him a grown up kid himself for doing awful things to other kid’s. That must of broken his heart to bit’s, This world must of been a hell of a lonely place for MJ, He was far too good for this planet and left. Bless Him x.
Throughout the dawn of human existence there have always been people that have been ridiculed and burnt to the stake for speaking out about there crazy and benign views on the subject of the ‘truth’ and how they see it, and i guess the most astounding example of this is that fulla - ‘Jesus’
I mean Jesus Christ for the love of God how the hell can anyone think i’m crazy! But the thing is………..i know i’m crazy and I'm ok with that because i have learnt through many many lessons of painful experience's how to behave myself.
When i made my decision to be Loud, Raucous, vivacious, and completely Outrageous about this whole Kim Dot Com debacle i knew exactly what fire i was jumping into! and it wasn’t the fire of being liable for slanderous lies about my experience’s of working for my mate Kimmy!
It was the fire of discrimination that awaited me in the form of many judgemental assertions about the state of my mental stability. That was the hardest thing i knew i had to face before making the decision to precede forward with my truth about this guy. So with my heart on fire and my intent intact i fearlessly charged ahead, and i feel f**en choice about that.
I knew the things i expected to happen but i didn’t know the unexpected thing’s to occur of course and that was a surprise! there was only one thing that unexpectedly happened with all this stuff for me. None of my musician friends turned up, and the only one that did i did not expect it from at all (thanks neil x). I’d been in many passion fuelled debate’s with many NZ artist at various times about the subject of NZ politics or many subjects around things to care about in Aotearoa.
And none of these people turned up and i don't mean to comment in on any of this crap to do with KDC, none of these people turned up in the form of a txt an email or even a phone call, and that was F**ken disappointing for me indeed.
The only one’s that turned up was Gooch - Flash Panda and Whacupamoe - Iraia and tik. Of course they did x. Theres no fearlessness or anger in NZ music at the moment which probably explains why its all so fucken lame out there. The only one’s doing anything risky these days in NZ music is Tom Scott and The Nudge there musical kaupapa's are really mean. I told Tom Scott to go fuck himself the other day cause he did something that pissed me off! but thats ok i hope he goes and writes a song about that cause i am. Lame Lame Lame.
But alas………………Its time for me to sign off of this whole KFC……(spellcheck!) KDC buzz because its taking up to much of my emotional space and i’ve got a Family to love and care about, this ‘ahoribuzz’ album to finish and bills to pay! and besides i’m sure President Obama will take care of Kimmy soon enough!
Id like to thank my Wife and Daughter for caring about me for caring too much about what i care about, and to all those people (there were a lot of ya x) who randomly walked up to me on the street and hugged me and one person even wept to me about my taking a stand. Thank You this ‘ahoribuzz’ album will be for you xxx
I could not have done this without the love and support of two amazing and special people - Farr Canal and Jon Mells Love your Micks xxx
Breath in…………..ahhhhhhhhhhh. Fuck im glad thats over. Yo Jimi where u at……….. x"